Quotes of the Year

Due to the hilarity of my students this year I have decided to keep an ongoing list of the funny things they say.

As a student was stapling a project to the wall...

Me: "You don't have to hit the stapler that hard."
James: "If I go soft it won't go in."


Felipe: "You don't have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope."
Felipe: "You don't want a white guy Ms. B. You need a Mexican. Us browns, we're down."


While talking about talents...

Me: "I wish I was talented at something."
James: "You're good with your hands."
-he meant I was crafty

A memorable line from a student's paper...
"I like girls and enjoy taking people's money." -Colt B.

While reading a short story called "The Sea Devil"
Me: "Can anyone tell me where the oxymoron is?"
Tanya: "It is when the author says 'good, rough, honest wood;' it can't be good and rough."
Me: (I'm thinking... "I'm pretty sure it can be!) but out loud "Um... that's not the line I had in mind" while everyone in class is laughing.

At staff development our principal said the following:
"If I tell you a chicken picks cotton you better get that hen a toe sack and knee pads"

Before taking the TAKS test:
Me: "Be positive. Research shows that if you go into a test with a positive attitude you do better."
Ernest: "I can't be positive."
Me: "Why?"
Ernest: "Because EMO kids can't be positive."

While coaching at a tennis tournament:
Cheyanne: "I'm burning up like a Jonas brother."